Goddess Chat!
by Suni Daughter of Moro
Summary: Alicia hosts a goddess talk show where the goddesses try to help callers and solve world-wide dilemmas. This won't be easy...
1. Chat 1

OH! MY GODDESS

WEEKLY GODDESS CHAT # 1

Alicia: Hello and welcome to Weekly Goddess Chat. This segment will appear every Sunday and in it we goddesses will help despaired people with their problems. The goddesses here tonight are... Peorth! goddess first class no restrictions... Belldandy! goddess first class with no restrictions... and ME! also goddess first class with no restrictions. So let's get on with it!

Belldandy: *picks up a letter* Our first letter comes from Hikari the ice demon. She writes.... "Dear Goddesses- I have really strong feelings for this guy... let's call him Hiei. However, I recently heard that he married Maddy. Also, I feel that I scare him a bit because..."

Peorth: Why did you stop reading?

Belldandy: I can't read the rest... it's covered in pixie stix dust...

Alicia: ^_^;; Anyway Hikari, you heard right- Hiei did marry Maddy- but they quickly separated so he's an eligible bachelor again. As for him being scared of you, your hyperactivity and sugar obsession don't scare him.... they just make him think you're crazy. Don't worry though! ^^ If Hiei was willing to marry Maddy, he MUST like crazy people.

Peorth: Okay, now we have another needy person on the phone. Let's turn Naoko's call to speakerphone.

Belldandy: Hello Naoko! What's your problem?

Naoko (On phone): Hi! Listen... What restrictions are there to wishes made via the goddess hotline?

Peorth: Well... you can't destroy the world... or do anything really bad...

Belldandy: And we recently passed laws banning both wishing for snack foods and wishing for Alicia/Koga romance...

Peorth: Oh and you can't wish anyone the gods have imprisoned to be set free...

Naoko (On phone): Can I ask for someone's affection?

Alicia: We can't tamper with human, demonic, elvish etc. emotions... especially love.

Peorth: We can't? Urd and I do it all the time.

Alicia: We shouldn't... It isn't right.

Naoko (On phone): Can I at least wish for Kurama's hand in marriage?

Alicia: What part of "we can't tamper with emotions" don't you understand?

Naoko (On phone): I'm not asking for him to love me. I'm just asking for him to be married to me.

Alicia: No.

Naoko (On phone): Can I wish to hold him hostage?

Alicia: No.

Naoko (On phone): Fine. Will you goddesses intervene if I kidnap him?

Alicia: No... unless you hurt him....

Naoko (On phone): I won't! ^^ Bye-bye!

Alicia: Well that's all the time we have for this week's Weekly Goddess Chat! Bye-bye!

Peorth: Aur revior *blows kiss to cheering audience*

Belldandy: Goodbye... have a nice week!


	2. Chat 2

OH! MY GODDESS

WEEKLY GODDESS CHAT # 2

Alicia: Hello and welcome to the Weekly Goddess Chat! Please welcome our chatters this evening- second class goddess Skuld and first class no restrictions demon Velsa!

Velsa: Hi-hi!

Skuld: I do get ice cream for doing this right?

Alicia: Yeah sure. Okay our first caller goes by the name of Terri. Hello Terri!

Terri: Hi! Okay- question- If I call 555-GODDESS and ask for a wish, can I wish for my assessment grade for biology to be changed to an A? I know I didn't do well...

Skuld: Sure we can! It's simple!

Alicia: No we cannot! It's immoral!

Skuld: What about all the nonsense Peorth and Urd do? It's legal!

Alicia: -_- Only because they aren't granting wishes but rather just doing any sick thing they feel like doing...

Velsa: *hangs up on Terri* Next Caller! Ricky, you're on the air!!!

Ricky: Hi. Too much homework. What do I do?

Alicia: Just quit whining and do your homework!

Velsa: Or pay someone to do it for you!

Skuld: Why don't you call us up at 555-GODDESS and ask for a homework-doing robot? I could make it for you!

Alicia: We can't simply keep telling people to call us, Skuld! We do have limitations!

Skuld: Fine. Then he can call me. For a bowl of that chocolate-vanilla-strawberry ice cream with hot fudge whipped cream and cherries I'll do his homework for three months.

Alicia: Whatever... Next call. Goku-chan you're on the air!

Goku: Hi.

Velsa: What's your problem Goku?

Goku: Alicia's dating Hakkai at the same time she's going out with me! She's two-timing me with one of my closest buds and neither of them sees anything wrong with that!

Alicia: Because I do that all the time! Last month I two-timed Sesshomaru with Koga! The month before- Hiei with Kurama! Three months ago- Quatre with Sai Saici! Four months ago- Wolfwood with Jin!

Velsa: You disgust me Alicia.

Alicia: I never mean for it to turn out like that. Cute guys ask me out and I'm too embarrassed to say no...

Goku: THAT DOESN'T SOLVE MY PROBLEM YOU CHEAT!!!!

Skuld: Please please! This is starting to sound like Jerry Springer!!! ENOUGH!!!

Velsa: Alicia! Apologize to this poor guy!

Alicia: Gomen nasai Goku. I was going out with Hakkai first.

Goku: So you're going with him?

Alicia: That's up to you. You have three options: 1) allow me to continue two-timing you with Hakkai, 2) tell me to forget Hakkai, come out here and give me a big smooch, and leave Hakkai with nothing, or 3) tell me I should go with Hakkai and you go with Hana over there.

Hana: *smiles warmly*

Alicia: Note that Hana is Kougaiji's puppet.

Hana: -_-*

Goku: I'll choose one for now... Give me a week to think about it. I'll make my decision once I've thought it out.

Alicia: Okay Goku-chan! Ja ne!

Skuld: That's it for this week's Weekly Goddess Chat.

Velsa: Have a nice day/night/whatever.


	3. Chat 3

OH! MY GODDESS

WEEKLY GODDESS CHAT # 3

Alicia: Hi. We went out to the mall last night and didn't come home till real late so we missed our Weekly Goddess Chat. Sorry ^_^;; If it's any consolation, we're doing a themed show tonight.

Urd: That's right! It's "Confidential Confessions" night here on WGC! That means we're dealing with the many issues that the manga "Confidential Confessions" raises. So please welcome me, Alicia, and Marla- tonight's three chatters!

Alicia: *opens "Confidential Confessions"* "According to police records, approximately 31,957 people committed suicide in Japan in 2000. That means 87 people a day, or 3-4 people every single hour, chose to throw their lives away."

Marla: Hmph! Pathetic!

Alicia: None of us here at the Weekly Goddess Chat condone suicide... except for me Urd and Belldandy, who believe forfeiting one's life is alright so long as it is to save another.

Urd: We find suicidal thoughts unacceptable as well.

Alicia: ^_^;; Once again, except for me. I think about suicide myself sometimes so I really have no right to deem it wrong and wicked.

Marla: What are we wasting time for!? If 87 people a day wanna kiss their lives goodbye some stupid chat isn't gonna change their minds! Let the fools die!

Alicia: Marla, you may have no responsibility here but we do! We goddesses exist to benefit mankind! It is our job to try to stop this exact type of thing!

Marla: You two are goddesses; I am not. I am a sorceress and demon with a first class license. My only responsibility is to drive these pathetic humans to commit this sort of crime! And it works!

Alicia: SECURITY!

*Two muscle-bound men from a nearby mental hospital come and take Marla away*

Urd: Getting back to our discussion, I believe something must be done about this... I mean, if 3-4 people an hour in one highly-sophisticated nation decide to throw away their one chance in this world.  That means there are probably 15-20 suicides an hour in some third world countries. And think about it- There's something like 230 different nations in this world. Even if each country only has 2 suicides an hour, that makes about 11040 suicides a day.

Alicia: True, something really must be done. But where to start?

Urd: Web postings such as this one could help. We can use the internet to tell people that life must go on- that the bad will pass.

Alicia: And it couldn't hurt any to have some commercials on TV. I mean, I see dozens of anti-drug commercials a day. I've never seen a single anti-suicide commercial. You?

Urd: No. Also, I know not many people even watch this channel much but for God's sake! PBS!! Put something on to discourage suicide! You have something to discourage every other semi-bad act under the sun! Why not suicide!?

Alicia: Like you even watch PBS to begin with. You don't know what PBS talks about and what it doesn't.

Urd: It's a hunch. I have a very strong feeling that I'm right.

Alicia: We'll just have to check the PBS schedules and see. Wow, time's up already?

Urd: *looks at watch* We've actually over-extended the show.

Alicia: And we aren't even finished discussing suicide... I know! It's an even better special! It's "Confidential Confessions" Goddess Chat Week!

Urd: Doesn't that kinda mess with the title of the show? It is the Weekly Goddess Chat, after all.

Alicia: "Confidential Confessions" is a very trouble-filled manga! It'll take seven weeks to discuss it all if we don't do a full week now.

Urd: Seven weeks? @_@ You are so right Alicia! A full week would be great!

Alicia: Good! Goodbye viewers/readers! Till tomorrow!

Urd: Bye!

Alicia: Hey Urd, you were really on the ball today- unusually sharp, clever, and interesting- I like it. Keep it up okay?

Urd: I'll try.


	4. Chat 4

OH! MY GODDESS

WEEKLY GODDESS CHAT # 4

Alicia: Hi welcome to day two of our week-long marathon. Tonight's topic- Suicide Part II. Please welcome Urd back.

Urd: Hi people! ^.~

Alicia: -_-* I knew the smarts wouldn't last…

Urd: *puts on thick red glasses*

Alicia: Shall we begi—What the hell are you wearing?

Urd: Point Dexter glasses!  Don't they make me look smart?

Alicia: First of all, for them to be "Point Dexter" glasses, they have to be red.  Second of all, I find that to be a stereotype.  Third, I find that stereotype very hurtful, because I am, as they say, a "Point Dexter."

Urd: ^_^;; Gomen.

Alicia: Urd, did you check PBS for suicide programming?

Urd: ^_^;; Nope.

Alicia: Well I searched "suicide" on pbs.org- 2000 results!

Urd: Really oops...

Alicia: Anyway, let's get back to solving the problem of suicide. What else is there?

Urd: Well we've got to show these people that suicide isn't the answer.

Alicia: Maybe we should start a counseling system at schools all over the world! A buddy counseling system! We'll have student volunteers help us show the suicidal kids that the bad times will pass!

Urd: And we could use Channel One! Channel One is broadcast every morning at plenty of schools! We could get them to do a special on suicide!

Alicia: Well sorry folks but we've gotta cut tonight's chat short! But don't worry, we'll be back tomorrow with a fresh new topic and fresh new guests too! Bye!

Urd: Later! ^.~


	5. Chat 5

OH! MY GODDESS

WEEKLY GODDESS CHAT # 5

Alicia: Hello and welcome back to the "Confidential Confessions" Goddess Chat Week.

Peorth: Which we wrap up tomorrow since we're running out of material.

Alicia: Tonight's chatters are Peorth and myself. Morgan was supposed to join us but she treated me like garbage just now so she's permanently banned from WGC.

Peorth: God... you're serious aren't you?

Alicia: She's lucky if I even speak to her at school tomorrow. *fuming mad*

Peorth: Well not that this isn't fascinating but you invited me here to have a chat about the dilemma of teenage prostitution so if you're ready to start...

Alicia: Okay. Let's chat. So, obviously teenage prostitution is a very big issue to try and talk about.

Peorth: *fumes* Darn right! A girl shouldn't sell her body to every guy who's willing to pay $200 for it!

Alicia: -_- Yeah girls should give their bodies away to every guy for free, just like you, right?

Peorth: You can be so mean.

Alicia: Everyone thinks that tonight... Well if everyone thinks I'm too mean, get me a razor blade- I'll put me and all of you out of our misery and kill myself.

Peorth: Alicia- the suicide part is over!

Alicia: So? I can commit seppuku in the middle of a chat about prostitution if I want!

Peorth: 0_O You're seriously considering ritual suicide?

Alicia: I'd be dying for a worthy cause- God has no objections to that does he?

Peorth: What worthy cause?

Alicia: I've become an aggressor apparently. So I'm killing myself to make all you people happy *prepares a noose and sticks her head in*

Peorth: Oh no you don't! *yanks her out* Drain your mind of everything irrelevant to teenage prostitution!

Alicia: No can do but I'm focused on it! So let's start! The way I figure it, part of the problem is economic trouble.

Peorth: Hm? *blinks*

Alicia: A girl's more likely to sell herself like that if she has a huge debt to pay off or if she's dirt-poor. To solve this problem, we don't just need to reform girls that get mixed up in prostitution but we also need to better the economy.

Peorth: Never thought of it that way.... Anyway, how do we reform the girls? And how do we stop others from joining them?

Alicia: Reforming them is simple- instead of sending them to Juvey send them to reform schools and teach them to abandon prostitution there. Stopping the issues in the future- much more difficult.

Peorth: I thought so.

Alicia: The key reason for resorting to this type of thing is typically the money. The only other reason I can think of is a feeling of self-worthlessness.

Peorth: A feeling of self-worthlessness can be fixed by a concerned parent or a school counselor sitting down with the girl and talking to her but the money issue...

Alicia: The economy would have to grow, the number of jobs with decent pay would have to increase greatly, and requirements for getting decent jobs would have to decrease slightly- I mean, you don't really need a business degree to manage a store just a strong determination and a sharp mind.

Peorth: Okay looks like we're out of time for tonight! We'll be back tomorrow with the Confidential Confessions Week finale! Bye!

Alicia: Bye!


	6. Chat 6

OH! MY GODDESS

WEEKLY GODDESS CHAT # 6

Alicia: Hello and welcome to the conclusion of Goddess Chat "Confidential Confessions" week. Tonight, we're discussing the Confidential Confessions manga volume 1 as a whole. Please welcome Belldandy and Skuld.

Skuld: This manga is disgusting! I can't believe you had me read this.

Alicia: You said you wanted us to treat you like an adult so I gave you an OT (older teen) manga to read and analyze.

Belldandy: I found it... interesting!

Alicia: -- Belldandy?

Belldandy: Yes?

Alicia: You didn't understand a single sentence in the second part did you?

Belldandy: No... not really... What's "prostitution"?

Alicia: -- Belldandy how about you go make us some cookies and forget the chat. Skuld and I can manage on our own.

Belldandy: - Okay! leaves

Alicia: So Skuld... ready to analyze?

Skuld: Sure- It was disgusting! Working as a receptionist in a store of prostitution is just as bad as being the prostitute!

Alicia: I agree. It's totally disgusting to work in a place like that, no matter what your job is.

Skuld: And what kind of girl decides to test her cyanide pills on little kids to make sure the pills are for real!?

Alicia: Yeah Asparagus was a little... messed up...

Skuld: Tell me about it. No normal girl stands there watching her friend cling to the edge of the roof of a 20-story building and says "Let's jump together and commit suicide now."

Alicia: She actually says something different. She says "Let's jump together. It'll have a huge impact if we fall to our deaths together. It'll even be in the newspapers."

Skuld: That doesn't change the fact that she's a loony and a not-so-good friend.

Alicia: If you read the next few pages between the lines you'd see she really is a good friend. On the next few pages, she seems to be calling Manatsu a coward but... if you look past that... she's really telling her, "Think about it. Saying and believing are two different things. Are you just saying you want to die or do you truly want to die?"

Skuld: Let's move on to Yoshioka. Is she messed up or what?

Alicia: Yes very. But I pity her. Her mother was trash, her "friends" treated her like their pet dog, and her life was altogether crummy. Then she finally meets a fantastic sweet gentle guy and she is arrested for prostitution and sent to a reform school. That really stinks.

Skuld: Especially considering her "friend" forced her to go back to prostitution when she really didn't want to.

Alicia: It was like a soap opera though. Ryo bursts into the police station begging them to let Yoshioka go and release her into his custody and the police stand there telling him she's the scum of the earth and a good man like him shouldn't get involved with a screw up like her. Then he says Yoshioka must have had a reason for all the things she did and he wants her to be released into his custody anyway.

Skuld: Yeah Soap Opera City!

Alicia: Ooh! Look at the time! We've gone over again tonight! Well goodbye!

Skuld: Goodbye people!


	7. Chat 7

OH! MY GODDESS

WEEKLY GODDESS CHAT # 7

Alicia: Hi, I know it's been awhile but we're back to doing the WGCs again so welcome back to the Weekly Goddess Chat. Tonight's guests are myself, Urd, and Vash.

Urd: Vash isn't a goddess!

Alicia: Well duh! Does he look like a girl to you?

Urd: And he isn't a demon so what's he doing on the WGC!?

Alicia: I figured, since we've gotten input from goddesses and demons already, it's about time we got some input from an angel.

Vash: Plus I get free donuts for doing the show!

Alicia: I never said that!

Vash: pouts

Alicia: Gr... FINE! WOLFWOOD! RUN DOWN TO THE DONUT SHOP AND GET A DOZEN DONUTS! Stupid Vash...

Vash: Yay!

Urd: So tonight's topic is...?

Alicia: --;; "Love and Peace"- a Vash original is it not?

Urd: -- twitch Yeah...

Vash: -

Alicia: I'd rather talk about war. War is fun!

Vash: War is not fun! It's evil!

Alicia: A little blood lust never hurt anyone... who was on my side...

Vash: glares at Alicia The topic is Love and Peace!

Alicia: Blood and Guts.

Vash: Love and Peace!

Alicia: Love and Peace!

Vash: Blood and Guts and that's final! suddenly realizes what he said Darn!

Alicia: Suit yourself Vash. Tell me, what do you think it feels like to be eaten alive by plants?

Vash: shudder twitch If it's all the same to you, I'd rather not picture Knives hacking off my leg and eating it while I'm still alive to witness it.

Alicia: What about plants that suck the blood from your veins?

Vash: shudder twitch

Urd: Can't imagine that's all that pleasant....

Alicia: Hey Vash, how do you feel about being devoured be spiders? They inject digestive enzymes into their prey and suck out the liquefied tissue until they've had their fill. evil smile

Vash: I'd rather not be eaten by spiders...

Alicia: Then how would you like to die?

Vash: Something painless and quick happening in my sleep.

Alicia: That's not an option.

Vash: I have specified options? blinks What are they?

Alicia: The Death Plant, the Ojegi, the blood-sucking plant, spiders, Shards of Winter, being devoured alive by a human, being eaten alive by a demon, and being driven to suicide by years upon years of slow anguishing mental torture.

Vash: Gee... they all sound so... nasty...

Alicia: Personally, I'd go with the Shards of Winter but that's just me.

Urd: You'd only go with that because you know Touya wouldn't use them on you, and thus you'd be able to avoid them all.

Alicia: Clever girl... Who would you like to be killed by?

Urd: Who are the choices?

Alicia: Gama, Touya, Bakken, Jin, Risho, Kaiji, Kurama, Hiei, and Zel.

Urd: Who's Zel?

Alicia: The greenish scaly dude with the silver hair from Slayers.

Urd: Oh... well let me think... I'll automatically rule out Bakken and Hiei- those two like to drag death out and make you suffer. And I'll rule out Kurama because his Yoko side enjoys toying with his prey as well. Gama's stupid and I don't know a thing about Zel so I'll forget them too. That leaves Touya Jin Risho and Kaiji.... I'd go with Jin.

Alicia: turns to Vash You decided how you wanna die yet?

Vash: The Ojegi cause I don't know what it is!

Alicia: Very well... are both of you content with your choices?

Vash Urd: Yep.

Alicia: Then I'll give you ten seconds to pray before I summon the Ojegi and order Jin to kill Urd.

Vash Urd: 00 hug each other and whimper

Alicia: ;; Oh my... you really believed me?

Vash Urd: Gr...

Alicia: I was only kidding!

Vash Urd: beat Alicia into the ground and begin to walk off

Urd: I thought you were against violence, Vash?

Vash: Well there's a limit to how much a man can take.

Urd: Wisely said.

Alicia: gets up looking better than ever Children punch harder than those two... but that was fun. Later, ya'll!


	8. Chat 8

OH! MY GODDESS

WEEKLY GODDESS CHAT # 8

Alicia: Hello, welcome to the WGC. Tonight's guests are Alison, Goddess First Class with No Restrictions, and Terri, Goddess First Class with Minimum Restrictions. shuffles about in the mailbox and fishes out a letter "Why are there minimum restrictions on Terri? - Furusawa Tohru"

Ali: We put those restrictions on to keep her from committing mass genocide and creating the end of days. I'm Goddess of Death but she... she's just... Terri...

Terri: huge proud grin

Alicia: Next letter. "Why did Alison keep her engagement to Gin a secret? - Mitsuo Iwata"

Ali: The rat wrote us a fan letter and didn't ask about Belldandy?

Alicia: No. This isn't Gan-chan's handwriting. There must be another Mitsuo Iwata. So why did you?

Ali: Well I...

Alicia: Well?

Ali: I didn't see how it was relevant to the site.

Alicia: Okay. Moving on- "Terri, what did I miss in History class? - Lex Lang"

Terri: -- Why are people writing to us under Seiyuus' names? Wait a sec, Lex Lang is in my History class? blinks

Ali: Sorry, I'm partially to blame. Lex Lang is a nickname I gave Alex, seeing as she likes Sano and her name is Alex.

Terri: Oh okies. Well let's see... she missed a test and some notes and that's about it...

Alicia: Next question- "Why does Alison never take part in the usual posts? - Jerry Jewell."

Terri: Finally, a non-Seiyuu name.

Ali: Jerry Jewell is a seiyuu, Terri. He's Jin's seiyuu.

Terri: -- Will the seiyuu thing ever end?

Ali: Well, "Jerry Jewell," I don't take part in the usual posts because I'm the one typing them and it's too hard to take down words verbatim and talk at the same time.

Alicia: Okay that's it for today. Later ya'll!

Ali Terri: Bye!


	9. Chat 9

OH! MY GODDESS

WEEKLY GODDESS CHAT # 9

Alicia: Hello one and all. Welcome to WGC. Here with me tonight we have Goddess Second Class Restricted License, Miss Telrúnya, Velsper, whose occupation is currently listed as "cat", and Gloriolass, Goddess First Class No Restrictions (whose name I hope I have the correct spelling of). Now let's see… (_digs into the mail bag full of letters_) Lalalalala-- ooh here's a prettiful postcard. "What is the meaning of life? - Vash"

Gloriolass: As if it wasn't bad enough that we got messages from people pretending to be Seiyuus. Now we're getting them from people pretending to be anime characters?

Velsper: _And here I thought this show and its viewers couldn't get any dumber…_

Alicia: Ok, if you're so smart, Neko-chan, why don't you tell us what the meaning of life is?

Velsper: _The meaning of life is a very significant purpose to the creation of all animals. You humans, being as stupid as you are, shouldn't concern yourself with such things._

Miss Telrúnya: But Velsper-chan, Vash is an angel, not a human.

Alicia: Hahahahahahahahaha WHO'S STUPID NOW CAT-BOY!? WHO'S STUPID NOW!?!

Velsper: --;; _You all suck - every last one of you. I hate you all._

Alicia: Postcard number 2 - "What is Belldandy's favorite food? - Gan-chan"

Velsper: _I am so eating that rat when I get home…_

Gloriolass: Do I detect a hint of jealousy?

Alicia: He's bumping off his weaker opponent. He'll go after Keiichi next. Heh heh.

Velsper: _For your information, rat, Belldandy likes all foods so long as she can be the one to cook them._

Alicia: Last postcard for the day! "I'm suicidal. Let's see you try and do something about that. - Hiei"

Miss Telrúnya: Aw, poor Hiei-chan.

Alicia: Wow, even a confession of being suicidal sounds threatening when it comes from him.

Gloriolass: Oh my gosh! The poor dear! We must fix this immediately! (_runs offstage_)

Alicia: Where's she going?

Velsper: _Let the bastard die. Thanks to the Doublet System, he'll kill Alicia in the process too. Hahahahahahahahaha!_

Gloriolass: (_comes back with Hiei and a chaise lounge_) I'm back! (_throws down the chaise lounge and puts Hiei on it_) Hi Hiei. We brought you here to talk about your feelings.

Hiei: What the hell!? Leave me alone you stupid fools!

Alicia: But you wrote us this note hands him the postcard so we had to do something.

Gloriolass: It's okay to feel sad sometimes.

Velsper: _Shut up, freak._

Miss Telrúnya: Hiei-chan, what's making you so sad? Come on, tell us. Don't let the fact that millions of viewers are listening live as you spew out your tear-jerking tale faze you.

Hiei: --;; Stupid goddesses.

Velsper: _Hey! What about me!?_

Hiei: Well, if you want to be included… Stupid cat. Now, as I've been trying to say, I wrote this message a year ago. I have solved my problem since. So if you'll excuse me… gets up

Miss Telrúnya: Wait Hiei-chan. Do you have bad memories you wish could go away?

Hiei: Yes. Thousands. Why?

Alicia: What's she getting at?

Miss Telrúnya: (_pulls out a very fancy white bottle_) Memory loss potion from the heavens! (_takes a swig and kisses Hiei, forcing the memory loss potion into his mouth_) Now, as Urd said to Belldandy, "All of your unhappy thoughts will disappear."

Alicia: Um, Miss Telrúnya, they put a ban on that stuff. Apparently they somehow linked drinking that potion to being attacked by a swarm of chibi Raths and being paddled over the head with "The Book of Goddess Life: 5,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Pages Edition"…

(_Hiei is swarmed by a million and one Chibi Raths and they pummel him with "The Book of Goddess Life: 5,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Pages Edition" until he falls comatose._)

Chibi Rath # 20385: Well our work is done. Who wants ice cream?

Chibi Raths # 1-20384 and 20386-1,000,001: I DO!

(_Chibi Raths leave_)

Miss Telrúnya: Oh my! We need to get Hiei to the hospital!

Alicia: Well, that's it for today… and forever. Sorry folks, we've been cancelled. Goodbye forever and good luck!

Velsper, Miss Telrúnya, Gloriolass, Alison, Terri, Urd, Vash, Skuld, Peorth, Marla, and Velsa: WHAT!?!

Skuld: This isn't fair!

Urd: They can't do this to me!! I SWEAR, AS GODDESS AS MY WITNESS, I'LL KILL EVERY LAST PRODUCER, DIRECTOR, WRITER, BUS-BOY, ANIMATOR, VOICE ACTOR, AND ACTOR WHO WORKS FOR THIS GOD DAMN CHANNEL IF THEY CANCEL US NOW!

Alicia: --;; Bye-bye everyone…

Belldandy: We had a good run. We must remember the good times.

Alicia: Good point Belldandy.

Belldandy: So long, everyone!


End file.
